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Five Absolute Truths Of Breaking Up

Some helpful rules, pointers and absolute truths about the worst part of any relationship.
DEC. 6, 2011 

1. You have to actually break up in order to break up.

You can break up in theory, or you can break up in reality. Only one of them is an actual break-up. People who break up in theory decide they’re no longer together, then proceed to sleep together, call each other every day, and know each other’s daily plans.

People who break up in reality end the relationship and all elements of the behavior associated with the relationship for an undetermined period of time. Note: you can technically be “broken up while he’s in business school,” but not if you’re together every time he’s home for vacation.

If you’re unclear as to which of the above is an actual break-up, please don’t date my friends.

2. There is no such thing as a mutual break up.

It may feel mutual, look mutual, and be hailed as mutual to everyone you tell, but the truth is that someone in the relationship wanted the break up more than the other person. There may be an agreement that things aren’t working, but no one wants to be the person to come to that decision a day later than the other.

3. If you can break up in-person, do it.

If it’s long-distance or you’re dealing with a lunatic, you’re off the hook here. You’re also off the hook if your relationships lasted for less than two months, and the idea of exclusivity was never mentioned.

4. You might have to break up with someone you don’t think you’re dating.

There are differences between seeing each other, dating, dating exclusively, and “in-a-relationship.” In three out of those four situations, a formal break up is required. If you’re just seeing each other (under six dates, little to no meeting of each other’s friends, no daily communication) you can disappear on account of a “crazy upcoming work project” or “funk I just can’t climb out of,” but if this person is in your life to the point that they know what upcoming work projects you have and will message your friend to make sure your “funk” isn’t something serious, you need to have a talk.

5. You cannot be friends with someone you’ve just stopped dating.

This is not to say that you can’t be friends with someone you once dated — you just can’t slip from romance to friendship without consequence. Just say, “For now, distance would be the best thing for us. Would you like to contact me when you’re ready, or should I do so?” Or something less Dr. Phil than that. TC mark

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/five-absolute-truths-of-breaking-up/

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Talk about stimuli in 24 hours. I need to commodify myself!

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When I attended the Hahn Moo-Sook Colloquium (“Staging Korea: Korean Theatre in Search of New Aesthetics”) in D.C., I was delighted that a number of talks were planned to discuss intercultural theatre, and Shakespeare adaptations in particular. As it happened, attendees of the conference were invited to a screening of Master Oh Tae-Suk’s Tempest a day before the actual colloquium. As the talks were given, however, I was increasingly disturbed by their post-colonial characterization of the “intercultural dialectic.”

One talk began by sketching the history of Korean theatre coupled with a brief account of Shakespeare’s inception in the peninsula, then finally arriving at a discussion of Master Oh: the foremost Korean director whose Shakespeare adaptations (Romeo and Juliet and The Tempest) were invited to perform at the Barbican Centre in London and the Edinburgh International Festival. The speaker dutifully pointed to the different marriages between Korean theatre and The Tempest in terms of plot, characters, staging, etc. I describe these intercultural joints as a marriage between Shakespeare and Korea because it seems a particularly useful metaphor, especially in light of a common Korean saying that ‘marriage is never between two individuals, but instead between two families.’ The talk, however, framed intercultural theatre simply as a marriage between two individuals—a simplification that reduces the complexities of two separate cultural strands that attempts to embody these in two persons. I walked away feeling disappointed and perhaps even slightly bored by the talk’s attempts to establish parallels between the “East” and the “West” that didn’t quite capture the frantic kinetic energy or the shape shifting borders of Oh’s The Tempest; in other words, the talk’s intercultural discourse was actually a reductionist dichotomy with only two characters on stage, or in this case a podium: Korea and Shakespeare. The speaker concluded, finally, with a not so subtle wish that future Korean adaptations would “include more Korea and Korean theatre and less Shakespeare.”

If I may extrapolate here, the proposed vision of intercultural theatre is a deeply suspicious and—at its core—reactionary model that is ultimately unsustainable. It understands globalization with a nationalist or post-colonial tilt and presents it as a different kind of cultural hegemony—one where once independent cultures are subsumed under a larger global culture and differences are smudged, eventually erased. This particular speaker’s vision of “more Korea and less Shakespeare” is a preemptive measure to first, guard, as it were, the borders of Korean culture and second, appropriate Shakespeare and use it him as a platform to put Korea on the global map—towards the center and away from the margin. The futility of guarding increasingly “porous” borders, as Feral puts it, has already been discussed (Feral xx). Certainly, this desire to establish Korea back on the map is understandable when Korea, only a hundred years ago, was almost literally erased from the map. Korea’s national history—in the 20th century alone, the Korean peninsula experienced Japanese colonization, the Korean War, a split between North and South, student riots, dictatorial regimes, the Kwangju massacre, and the 1997 IMF crisis—explains, in part, the tendency towards suspicion of any sort of assimilation or loss of national selfhood.

Nevertheless, the very act of “putting Korea back on the map” further enforces system of the central and marginal positions; as a result, “Korean Shakespeare” is pushed farther out and forever remains a niche, exotic Shakespeare. While I don’t usually agree with the common complaint of theatre critics that Asian productions of Shakespeare often visually exoticize itself to attract attention of the West, the point is well taken in this case. The fundamental mindset of appropriation only leads to a cyclical pattern of reinforcing the very power positions that the speaker ostensibly wishes to dismantle. With her logic, an emerging culture like Korea should appropriate an existing established product as a means to (perhaps) proudly showcase Korean culture. I mentioned earlier that this model was reactionary because this appropriation of Shakespeare seems to be borne out of a reaction against yet another possible forced assimilation (in this case, globalization). Unsurprisingly, the talk seemed intent on proudly identifying the distinct Koreanness in Oh’s The Tempest; what results from this, however, is only a reduction of Oh’s performances to mere insertions of Korean dances, costumes, and script in here, here, and there. Instead of engaging with the micro-border activities on the stage, her conclusion was that Oh’s appropriation wasn’t appropriative enough. But what is being appropriated here? Greenblatt cautions against this “risk of repetition” stating that “such groups may believe that they are appropriating traditional forms, but it may well be the forms that are appropriating them” (Greenblatt 58). Creativity cannot exist in a fundamentally reactionary framework; creative energy is, instead, devoted to forever reach an unreachable center—for in this logic, a Korean Shakespeare can never best an English Shakespeare. At best, it travels to the Barbican and is given a stamp of approval (a nod of recognition?) from an English audience.

If Korean theatre truly is in “Search of New Aesthetics,” as the colloquium’s name suggests, it should “do more than put them on the map; [it] should transform the act of mapmaking” (Greenblatt 61). That is to say, the appropriative model of the talk to locate Korea on the map fundamentally misunderstands the nature of intercultural discourse. This transformative mapmaking, as Bosman suggests, begins with the recognition that “as migrants and media exchange [Shakespeare’s] works back and forth across national borders, a simple opposition between ‘domestic’ and ‘foreign’ Shakespeare grows ever less convincing, and to set down his fortunes country by country is to tour the empty pavilions of an abandoned world’s fair” (Bosman 286). If the increasingly permeable cultural borders make it difficult to claim that Shakespeare’s works as authentically English, it seems backwards and too deferential that “something of an essential original disappears,” as another professor—a Korean-American professor teaching in the West Coast—remarked during a separate talk; the problem seems to be a self-limiting mindset that desires to clearly mark Shakespeare as England’s and Korean culture as “ours.” In order to truly assess the merits of Oh’s The Tempest, or any other Shakespeare production for that matter, the first step is to leave the world fair and recognize that artistic work is built on “collective negotiations and exchanges” (Greenblatt vii).

The globalization model for Greenblatt isn’t a “mere return to the fantasy of featureless universality, not an erasure of difference, but a consequence of difference and the agent of a vital, ongoing creation of a particular literary identity” (Greenblatt 61). Our job is to negotiate these boundaries—anthropological, media-related, thematic—with a mindset of “engagement and detachment” and recognize that the marriage isn’t simply an assimilation of two individuals’ lives, but rather a complex, full-frontal engagement between two ‘families,’ or cultural strands embedded within larger connections (61). Just as artistic work is built on “collective negotiations and exchanges,” building a new cultural history within a global frame requires an account of these micro-histories instead of sweeping claims of an authentic, coherent Korean culture. Oh Tae-Suk’s Tempest is in fact an excellent example of this. Oh insists on incorporating different regional Korean dialects in his plays to challenge the notion of a standardized Seoul dialect as the proper pronunciation of Korean. South Korea’s own national homogenization is exposed in the process.

The position of “engagement and detachment” provides a means to do so because it doesn’t remain obligated to ostensible national or cultural borders or geographic loyalties; it offers a “wider field” to explore and ask the question, “What ish my nation?” in a better, more insightful manner (Greenblatt 61; King Henry V 3.2.124). David Schalkwyk in his opening remarks at the colloquium noted that “Shakespeare is too familiar and not familiar enough”; that without intercultural discourse, we “run the danger of pride, … of blind, dulling complacency.” In order to fully understand Shakespeare, we “have to have access to him in a different language and culture” and defamiliarize ourselves with works that have become all too familiar over the past 400 years. The goal, in Schalkwyk’s words, is to watch new performances and walk home thinking, “Why on Earth haven’t we seen that before in The Tempest?” In a similar vein, in order to better construct a global Koreanness, I would argue that we need Shakespeare and intercultural theatre to unfamiliarize the familiar—a transpiring national consciousness that Koreans have held so dearly (and might I add, admirably) in the face of foreign invasions—and renew it. To watch Shakespeare in the Korean language helps enrich a new Koreanness by exploring the yet unseen joints within Korean culture.

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This is for a good friend of mine, to whom I promised some recent writing. As it happens, my only recent writing is a bit of rough drafting that may or may not be included in my thesis. 

Borders, more so than any other term, has framed our understanding of cross-cultural exchange. In Cultural Mobility: A Manifesto, Greenblatt documents a remapping of these borders from the now “intellectually bankrupt” nationalistic model to “brave new theories of hybridity, network theory, and … information across endlessly shifting social landscapes” (Greenblatt 1). The biggest culprit of this change has been the rapid development of digital media; Bosman terms this network of exchange as the “aether” of multimedia “mass communication, and radio, cinema and television” that have “contributed hugely to the diffusion of Shakespeare across national borders” (Bosman 295). Despite this network, however, Greenblatt acknowledges, “the enterprise of tracking the restless and often unpredictable movements of texts, ideas, and whole cultures is still at a very early stage” (Greenblatt 7).

The hindrance in transnational Shakespeares studies stems from a binaric framework that is fundamentally geared towards an all too narrow dialectic between source and target cultures, “domestic” and “foreign” Shakespeares, or worse, “glocal” Shakespeares. Moreover, much like the nationalistic model, the terms are too ambitious in their geographical grasp. “Asian Shakespeares,” for example, assumes a coherent pan-Asianism that is all but impossible and eerily reminiscent of the imperialist Japanese vision of Asia that crumbled with the Allies’ victory in World War II. A term such as “Korean Shakespeare” is also too neat in their notion of hybridity; I use Korea as an example because it remains one of the most homogenous cultures in the 21st century (the CIA Factbook lists 99% of the population as ethnically Korean). It has historically resisted cultural change, especially in the late Chosun era where a “Closed Door Policy (쇄국정책; 鎖國政策)” essentially banned not only economic trade with Western countries but also cultural importation such as Catholicism. Yet even Korea’s culture is difficult to describe in singular terms. Politically, it remains the only nation fragmented as North and South; additionally, despite its best efforts to protect its national borders, a long history of invasions from neighboring countries has undeniably created a cultural tissage visible in its language—the use of Chinese characters in their writing system until 1443 A.D., the phonetic similarities between Japanese and Korean vocabulary—and cultural heritage (Confucianism and Buddhism). The phrase “Korean Shakespeare,” simply glosses these complex networks that contain strands of other cultures by pitting an essentialized “Korea” against, of course, an essentialized “Shakespeare,” which also has its own strands of transnationalism.

On some levels these limitations are related to a problem of medium, namely the understanding of the play as a coherent, authentic text. Any intercultural performance, thus, is trapped in a dualistic comparison to the “source” text and can never escape the latter’s shadow. Tiffany Stern’s insightful deconstruction of the text from its coherent vision to a “patchwork” of fragments has far reaching implications for reconceptualizing intercultural analysis (Stern xx). The aforementioned binaries can also be deconstructed from their dialectic exchange to a more nuanced network of what Patricia Parker calls “joineries” that are verbal, social, sexual, political, and supernatural (Parker xx). Identifying a “pervasive semantic network of joints and seams,” Parker asserts that these “linkages expose the very orthodoxies and ideologies the play themselves often appear simply to rehearse” (Parker 108, 114). To her list of joineries, then, I’d like to add a transcultural joinery that produces both as a translated script and translated performance. This sixth joinery is both a continuation and a radical addition: familiar, because Shakespeare was famous for his own translation of cultural and literary sources; and radically new, because transnational Shakespeare performances incorporate cultures that have little or no traceable relation to Shakespeare’s time. One must also take into account that these contemporary “cultures” further complicate the picture because the proliferation of mass-media and rapid globalization have resulted in a phenomenon where Romeo and Juliet is more familiar to a Japanese audience than Kabuki or Noh theatre. As boundaries are blurred, the native/foreign distinction also loses its meaning in performance.

            Blended with Stern’s construction of a play as literary “patchwork,” this proposed cultural and literary network of joineries presents a revised framework for the “enterprise of tracking … movements of texts, ideas, and whole cultures” (Greenblatt 7).  Tracing back to Greenblatt’s mobility studies, another illustration of this web of junctures is a Batesian concept of aspectuality adapted from Wittgenstein. He, in fact, uses the same term to describe Shakespeare’s particular appropriateness for a study like this:

“Shakespeare has proved himself peculiarly adaptable to a world of ambiguity, uncertainty, and relativity. If Shakespeare the man was mobile, how much more so the body of his work has remained” (Bate 316).

For Jonathan Bate, Shakespeare’s greatest advantages are his breadth in aspects and voices: “both the Hal aspect (call it the rule of providence) and the Fallstaff aspect (call it the rule of the body) are truths of the Henry plays” (328). Transcultural joineries expose these aspects and create new resonances among the plays and cultures; by repatching an already patched up work, performances expose the seams of both Parker’s textual joineries and the contemporary cultures’ own tissage. The sites of analysis are our contact with these “fragments [rather] than a set of coherent histories” (Greenblatt 15). Thus the following are case studies that locate fragments and “microhistories” within these patchwork plays organized neither by play or any particular country, but by their associative joineries (17). 

From Me To You: My Camera Bag

fromme-toyou:

It’s been about 15 years of carrying around cameras for me and I’ve done it all: Backpacks, vintage camera bags (that break), big black “I’m a photographer can’t you tell” bags that don’t match anything I own, small touristy camera bags, and for the last 10 years my purse turned into a camera…

Source: fromme-toyou

thecommonmag:

Voices from Japan
Thanks to collaboration between the Brooklyn-based literary  magazine, A Public Space, and the Tokyo-based literary  magazines, Monkey Business, a special English-language edition  of Monkey Business is available in the US. This special  edition, called “New Voices from Japan”, will showcase the best of the  magazine’s first three years of publication and will include stories,  poetry, and non-fiction, including an interview with Murakami.

thecommonmag:

Voices from Japan

Thanks to collaboration between the Brooklyn-based literary magazine, A Public Space, and the Tokyo-based literary magazines, Monkey Business, a special English-language edition of Monkey Business is available in the US. This special edition, called “New Voices from Japan”, will showcase the best of the magazine’s first three years of publication and will include stories, poetry, and non-fiction, including an interview with Murakami.

Source: thecommonmag

I intern here, and you should subscribe to the mag because it’s pretty awesome! 

thecommonmag:

Check out the trailer for our debut issue!

Source: thecommonmag

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

The Ladder & The Key

- Lauren & Tokyo

No bad memories, I’ll remember the good, I’ll remember the good.

Someone open heaven up to me

Throw your ladder down let me climb the clouds

I know I’m not allowed but there’s nothing for me here

Someone open heaven up to him

Send your angels down to renew our vows

I know it’s not allowed but let him know I’m here

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Just reread my parents’ birthday card for my 21st. I’m not usually one to feel change with age, but this year has proven otherwise. Two months into 21, I’ve realized that the future has occupied the forefront of my mind to an alarming degree. It’s probably because 21 coincides with imminent graduation but I’m actually not even thinking about post-graduation life. I’m thinking about this summer, and next semester. Why is that? I hope I don’t disappoint my parents; they’re so confident in me. But more importantly, I hope I don’t let myself down. I wish my definition of happiness weren’t so fragile. 

brain-food:

This is a graduation Production made by three students graduated from the National Taiwan University of Arts.

The main character of little girl in the story confronts a robbery and strays from the road she is familiar with. After passing a hedge, she enters an unknown world and unfolds a magical adventure depending on senses other than vision and her imagination. With soft and cute colors as the main key, we used simple designs to depict the little girls’ imaginary world.

官方網頁 Official website:
http://www.evaty.url.tw/oos/

This is incredibly cute and wonderful. 

Source: brain-food